Are You Still Holding On To Your Virginity?

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I always thought that everyone loses their virginity in high school because the college and adulthood years are supposed to be all about having one-night stands until marriage. But now I know that life doesn’t always follow a timeline.

Before entering high school, I had this vision of what I wanted and expected to happen in my life. Of course, I was influenced by all the teenage movies with coming of age storylines that  spotlighted the expectations of high school. But, further into those four years, you may realize that you were better off without all that the things you thought you wanted.

One of the things I didn’t expect to leave high school with is my virginity, but I’m incredibly grateful that I’m able to now. Sometimes you think you found the perfect guy and he’ll be the one to have that valuable piece of you and cherish it, but in reality that can be the exact opposite of the truth. Honestly, the survival of virgins, is dying off fast. The average age for American males to lose their virginity is 16.9 years old and American females is 17.2 years old, according to

In this generation we teenagers live in, society has regulated and heavily promoted the necessity of sex. It’s even gotten so bad that some relationships in high school fail due to the high need of boys projecting that they “need” sex to function. Boys have two heads, but they always don’t think with the one upstairs.

I’m here to say, if you’re a virgin reading this, that no matter how old you are, it is okay. I know that society tries to humiliate you and peers make fun of those who are inexperienced, but there’s a reason why you haven’t lost it yet. Maybe you feel that your virginity is sacred until marriage, you haven’t found the right one, or you just aren’t ready for the responsibility that comes with being sexually active. Ultimately, it is your decision and it is okay.

You won’t be a virgin forever (unless that’s what you choose) and being inexperienced isn’t a shameful thing. In high school, sex can be incredibly hard to ignore because everyone is doing it and it’s one of the main things constantly talked about. But, remember, no one has to know about your virginity if you don’t want them to. Your sexual activity is your business.

There are a few precious life decisions that only come around ounce. Don’t let anyone else make your those decisions for you. Do it because YOU want to. Do it because the experience makes YOU happy. Nothing truly has a definite set-in-stone age limit for when special moments are supposed to happen in life. Deciding when you finally want to be devirginized is up to YOU.

At the end of the day, we only have one life and you should make it count as much as possible. Sex isn’t everything, and it’s definitely not the special glue to any relationship. Don’t let anyone pressure or fool you. You’ve survived so far having your virginity intact. Make sure that when you do decide to let go of your virginity, you do so on your own terms.


By Kori A. Nicole Barnes, Senior, Homewood-Flossmoor High School

Twitter: @korixnicole

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