Ex Factor

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Tomorrow makes it exactly 11 days before me and Boo make it an official year of being an item. It’s been a year full of fun, laughter, tears, fights, make ups and break ups. We learned a lot and experienced even more —about life, love and the bi laws of commitment. We have been students to the very essence of partnership. Tested very early in our union on what all we would endure to maintain our happiness. It hasn’t be the easiest thing and sometimes not even the most delightful, but it has been the most rewarding. The growth and uncomfortability exposed when you really love a person and vice versa is a real eye opener, it changes the way you view everything you’ve ever been taught about being with someone. I’ve said several times to my family and peers the same that this is the first adult relationship I’ve ever witnessed. The way we cater to each other’s needs, do our best to be cheerleaders and assist each other toward the greater purpose that we have set out in life to accomplish. He’s not just my man, he’s my partner, my friend, my financial and life consultant and a plethora of other things.

But for some couples out there, it isn’t so sweet and the know how of when enough is enough seems to be a very distant thing. I wish there was a manual on how to operate companionship. Maybe that way things wouldn’t be as complicated. But, love has a funny way of placing things in the gray area. Most times it’s a good way and a not so good way out. Women and men view partnership in so many different ways that the time to walk away can be totally different for both. My last relationship was way too adult and advanced for where I was in life. It made my head spin and it wasn’t until after I decided to separate myself from him permanently,that I even realized what we actually broke up for. I just knew that he was no longer an asset to my life and the path I was struggling to lead.

I was headed forward and he-, well I’m not really sure where he was headed. But I believed deep within in my heart that it was a different, much darker direction than I was. So when is the time to call it quits? As much as I want to be able to tell you a time and place or a moment in thought will appear. Any of those things that they show you on television to signify or foreshadow your exit cue, it’s not that simple or glamorous. My mom used to always tell me, “You won’t leave until you’re tired.” I didn’t know what she meant back then, but on the eve of the day I left my ex I knew exactly what she meant. I had grown tired of his presence and trying to make excuses to myself about his hangups that he wasn’t working diligently enough for my liking to change. I was tired of feeling like I was by myself, even though I was giving up so much of my being. I was giving up so much of my time and effort and love to a guy that did not appreciate it.It was then that I knew that I couldn’t change him. But I could change me. I could change the situation and it’s effect on me as well. And that’s what I did.

I’m sure I’ve said this before, but to me the best apology is changed behavior. A scripture I had learned from mother a long time ago. One she had picked up from the bible of experience.If the person in your life is not fueling your dreams with support and encouragement, it’s time to go. If they are not making life easier and more peaceful for you and them, it is time to let go. If they are domineering, condescending, degrading and/or disrespectful in any manner it is time to go. But the biggest thing is, if your partner, whether they be male or female is unwilling to communicate and compromise, it is absolutely time to re evaluate the circumstances. These two things are the essential resources to a relationship of longevity. Self care and self love have to come above all to those things and if the relationship does not fulfill you in the ways you desire it to do so, then it maybe time to put it in the closet. Aka hang it up.

What are some of your relationship end triggers ?

We’ll chat.

With Love,

Storie Stone


P.S. Free GHerbo, his family needs him!

B R I L L I A N T. Successful Project Product. Proud Black Sheep and all around Thoroughbred. 26. Planted in Chicago,IL | Blossomed in Atlanta, GA

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