On My Own Nerves

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I’m happy I have this platform because it allows me to really get my thoughts onto paper and think them through to ensure that I don’t say the wrong thing, being in my feeings and all. I know how I can get, as I’m sure most women do. My attitude can get the best of me and sometimes what I say and what I mean come out two totally different ways. As I get older I realize that I get on my own nerves. I like to think that’s considered growth. I try not to blame anyone else and accept the way that I feel about whatever the case may be. I understand that most times things aren’t even worth an attitude, yet somehow I manage to manifest one anyway. So when that happens I either shut down completely, not wanting to talk or be bothered at all. Or that horrible temper rears its ugly head. The reasons behind it could be anything from PMS, to just normal every day stresses and irritations. I thought it would be cool to go over some of the ways I am practicing how to not be so annoying to myself and others. In my childhood, I was a very happy and optimistic child despite all of the craziness life threw at me. I found a way to make light where there was none. I was what my Nana calls self soothing, the adolescent version of independent.

The thing about that self soothing nature is that it makes you accustomed to not really having anyone to tell your feelings or thoughts to. So as time passes sweeping emotions, good and bad, under the rug is also natural. I refrained from opening up for several reasons. But mainly because I felt like people had their own adult problems no one wanted to hear mine. Secondly, when someone does come along and they care about your voice and the way you interpret emotional situations. It becomes very difficult to let them in and allow yourself to be exposed to vulnerability. Both are rather unhealthy for the spirit, the mind, and the heart. I deemed myself to be socially awkward a long time ago. It was always easy to sympathize with others when their worlds were crashing down, be there for them and even be their motivation to keep going. But when the tables had turned not only did I not want to speak about it, I didn’t want others to either. I began to realize that I was my own problem and the only way I would fix me is if I committed to getting better and allowed someone to get close enough to know the real me. I strongly believe that it takes someone else, someone who truly loves you and wants the best for your well being to sit you down and get you together for you to recognize that it’s time for a change.

So here I am telling you the list of things that I do when I’m irritating myself.

@ShelahMarie has an awesome meditation mixtape available on iTunes. The tape has nine different focus points ranging from Protective Prayer to Serious Daydreaming. Her voice is so soothing, it literally makes me feel better to close my eyes and drift off into my own world.

Haha! Some of my most personal material ( like this) comes out when I’m not 100% feeling like me. To be able to get it all out on the keyboard seems to magically make it go away. I get me a cup of piping hot Chamomile Honey Vanilla tea and just let my fingers do the talking. By the end, I’m good.

-Call my loved ones
Talking to my mother,my siblings, my grandparents, my best friends, even my guy has the ability to brighten my day. Hearing them tell me that they are doing alright makes my world go round. I’m so loved and every time I talk to them I can feel it and I realize this ‘tude aint even worth it no more.

Lastly, but just as important I RELAX. I find me a good movie, tv show, interview, blog or something to sink my teeth into and chill. Oddly enough the two things that relax me the most are cooking and cleaning. What a wife, right? But seriously, I’ll find me a good recipe on Pinterest and go to work. In the process of cooking that gourmet meal, I’m cleaning the room, washing clothes and scrubbing walls. It literally brings me joy.

So the next time you’re ready to launch your head into a wall. Don’t.

With Love,

Storie Stone

The Storie Will Be Televised

B R I L L I A N T. Successful Project Product. Proud Black Sheep and all around Thoroughbred. 26. Planted in Chicago,IL | Blossomed in Atlanta, GA

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