Take Care

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selfishIf you are an only child, was an only child, born first to your parents and grandparents,the first granddaughter/ grandson, first born boy or girl in your family or last born I have news for you. YOU ARE SPOILED. WE HAVE BEEN SPOILED . WE ARE SELFISH. SOMETIMES IT IS NOT OKAY. WE ARE ADULTS, WE HAVE TO GROW UP AND LEARN WHEN AND WHEN NOT TO BE ABOUT OTHERS. It sucks I know, and the longer you wait to accept that the process is absolutely inevitable the worse it will be on your life! There are really horrible emotions that can be inflicted on your loved ones if you don’t take the time to find something more important than you. However, it is imperative to learn the difference between selfishness and selflessness. Feeding the homeless can be selfless to a degree. It depends on what one is looking to gain from it. If the whole narrative of someone feeding the less fortunate is to curate their own blessings, because they believe that you must “give to receive,” it’s a sweet gesture and the Lord will smile, but it too is selfish.

I found an article on the difference between the two acts and it brought about some thought provoking commentary. “Simply ask yourself if you feel good after “selflessly” helping someone out and you’ll see if you were really selfless or simply acted in a way that benefits both you and others. If it benefited yourself, and if that’s a part of the outcome you sought, even if it is just the satisfaction, then you actually acted in self interest.” (Memetic, Daniel) Crazy how weirdly accurate that is for most of life’s everyday acts right? Kinda makes you understand why you do things and why you don’t if you ever did. Selfishness gets a really bad reputation and it’s to be understood. Some people are just naturally selfless and others find no reason to put something or someone else’s needs before their own. Take me for instance, I’m selfish. Ridiculously. I have a hard time sharing, if I share no connection with you. And even then I’m only giving you what I want you to have.
Don’t take this as an excuse, but I’m sure every black mother has told her son or daughter, “You are your own responsibility until you have children. Then it’s all about them”. I know Mommy told me that.Believe me, I took that lesson and ran with it as many of us do. Mommy’s word is scripture and with all shes made it through, we’d be fools to not listen to her, right?

Eh, that’s debatable.

At some point in life especially adulthood, unbeknownst to you, you’re going to need someone to perform an act of selflessness for you. It may be today or tomorrow and I’m almost certain it’ll be hard for you to see it initially, but that act will change your perspective.The problem us selfish people have with the latter is that they are so sacrificial and willing and when they are told “I didn’t ask you to do that” or the actions are not reciprocated, they are heartbroken. I’m sure that’s my selfish, not married and not a parent mentality but sometimes I really have those thoughts. I think it’s only human nature to do so. The authentic act of selfishness puts a strain on some of the world’s most genuine people because they don’t see the benefit in putting themselves first. So they give and give and give until they are dry and weak expecting people to be their for them as they’ve been for others and they wind up alone in a pool of their own sorrow and regret. Wishing that at some point they were a little more selfish and maybe, just maybe, this predicament could have gone in another direction.

I was that person too before. And after all of the lessons,I promised myself that I’d be alone before I ever felt alone and was giving someone my time. This world and the things one has to go through to succeed sometime change you for the worse. Thus forcing you to do whatever it takes to never feel that certain way again. “What we really want is selfish acts that benefit others. That’s the holy grail. Such acts enrich others while simultaneously enriching yourself. This leads to overall win-win situations, win-win relationships, and ultimately making everyone better off.” (Memetic, Daniel) When nobody loses in the game of giving and receiving it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Each party sees eye to eye because the matter, regardless of circumstance is satisfied on both ends. It was only recently that I saw fit to break down my barrier of self love and self care to see the love someone else had for me, hurt them. Their selflessness toward me cause them to be in a bind and my natural first instinct was to protect myself and not them. The pain I caused was like a boomerang as it shot right back to me and I felt it instantly.

I knew then that I had to learn balance. I wasn’t alone in this selfish world and it was imperative I started acting like it. So take something positive from this oldest grand son who went to college on a full ride and princess that’s Mommy’s favorite. The message isn’t that you should lie down your burdens to pick up someone else’s. Absolutely not, more so that two heads are better than one in almost every situation and if everyone wins, even better. Enrich yourself and be willing to share it where ever it may be called for.

With Love,
Storie Stone

The Storie Will Be Televised

B R I L L I A N T. Successful Project Product. Proud Black Sheep and all around Thoroughbred. 26. Planted in Chicago,IL | Blossomed in Atlanta, GA

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