Take It From A Cheater… It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over

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No relationship is perfect, but the worst thing that can ever happen in a relationship is cheating. Whether it’s getting cheated on or being the person who’s doing the cheating, either way it goes it’s wrong and hurtful. I know what doing the cheating feels like, but I also know what it feels like to get cheated on and stick around! You’re probably like, “How could I possibly have my trust broken and then stay?” The same way many of you do. Each situation wasn’t the same and of course I was young and dumb. Like myself, many others have made the same decision I did. If you’ve experience such pain, whether it was recent or in the past, let an experience cheating victim and cheater give you a few tips on how to make the relationship stronger.

After finding out your partner has cheated on you, the second thing many people do is call a friend to just vent to and express how we feel. There’s nothing wrong wanting to confide in someone, but running to a friend is NOT the answer. I know from experience, I’ve been the friend to quickly say, “Don’t lose no sleep or shed any tears. Just leave him and find somebody better.” But a friend doesn’t know your boo like you do. Everyone makes mistakes and when your mind is all over the place, other opinions can cloud your judgment. At the end of the day you know if your relationship is worth fighting for before friends will. So, maybe next time, just talk to God and try to figure the situation out, even if you go crazy thinking about it.

Cheating is not right and getting even is not the best answer either. Two wrongs don’t make a right. For all those “I have to get them back” folks, think about how you felt when you found out you were cheated on. Would you want them to feel the hurt you felt? I’ve been the person to want my vengeance, but trust me, it only tears you up inside being on the other end of the stick. If you have thoughts of cheating on the cheater, sit down and express how you’re feeling. That way you’re not acting out of anger.

The most important thing about getting over cheating is to FORGIVE, FORGIVE, FORGIVE!!! No one wants to be constantly reminded of their mistakes. If you’re going to stay together, both of you need to work past it. Talk about it ONCE and put everything on the table. After that, rebuild the trust (don’t go through a phone, that’s a disaster waiting to happen) and DO NOT bring it up again. To do anything else only makes your partner feel like you’re making them relive the uncomfortable situation. (I was the type to never let someone live their mistakes down. Don’t be like me, be better.)

Cheating doesn’t always mean the end. If you truly think your boo is worth keeping then it’s up to you to decide if you can forgive the cheating. Happy healing.

 

By BreNae Scott, Senior, Alcorn State University

Instagram: @im_alikamarie

 

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