Thats Marriage, Now What?

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adam ruins everythingEvery young girls dream is to get married one day and be the belle of the ball! Meet the man of our dreams, fall insanely in love, pick out the perfect wedding dress and cake, gather friends and family and make it official. None of us tend to think about all that is tied into the long haul ceremony because, we’re just so happy to be here! 9/10 we’ve been through a lot with this person as they’ve aided us in growth and vice versa, so when they pop the question we see stars and fireworks! We began to plan baby names and hope that our son has his eyes and our daughter has our sense of fashion. Years down the line we’ve exhausted all of the happy possibilities of being husband and wife , so now it’s the opportune time for children. Dun dun dun, life changes!

So that’s marriage. Now what?

There’s a show entitled Adam Ruins Everything that Babe and I binge watched on one of those days where we just didn’t feel like moving so we clung to each other under the covers over a bottle of Crown Apple with a dab of Sprite. The both of us like to identify as intellectuals so just the basis of the show intrigued our less than sober minds. Comic Adam Conover, a cast member and writer at the popular comedy website CollegeHumor, brings his original online series to TV, expanding upon his efforts to poke fun at everyday things that people accept or assume without question. In the half-hour investigative comedy, Conover uses a not-quite-deadly combination of comedy, history and science to debunk widespread misconceptions about topics and ideas that are routinely taken for granted. (Google)

I think the show is brilliant and it made my wheels start to turn as we came across the show where he took on marriage and dragged it for filth. The series is rather clever, I’m sure 100% of the information that Adam is spewing is in books somewhere. But it’s much more funny and intuitive to watch it on television and be proven wrong about all the things we’ve sworn by our entire lives. We are all so very fond of the idea of long lasting love and forever marriages (myself included) and when it got back to me that Babe believes I’m the one, things just started getting real dreamy on my end. Watching this show kind of brung the tea for me however, so I wanted to share some of the facts that kind of turned me off about tradition and made me happy about being in love with someone that doesnt really stand for social norms.

American weddings were very private affairs usually mended by corn eating contest. Now I like elotes just as much as the next Chicagoan, but cmon corn and marriage? Where does that even correlate? That theory derived from Cherokee weddings, corn was given to the husband as a symbol of her promise to be a good Cherokee wife. Still weird, but ok. The stigma that the bride has to wear white or she’s “unpure” is also a fallacy that was created to capitalize off wedding bells. Traditionally it meant if the bride wore white she or her husband’s family were well off. It was impossible to clean white dresses back then so they were only meant to be worn once. Thus in addition to white wedding cakes The show made me tune in even more and even inspired to write when they brought forth actual doctors like, Dr. Vicki Howard, a professor in the Department of History at Harwick College and author of Brides Inc. Like herself, researchers found that the more you spend on your wedding the more you’re actually more likely to end in divorce. Researchers also found that weddings are simply an industry, it has absolutely nothing to do with true love. Go figure.

In the olden days love as strong as it is was always looked at as a temporary emotion. They knew back then that it will fade and then youll leave and find someone or something else to fall in love with. The cycle will only repeat as the bargain gets larger. “…Love, considered merely a passion, will naturally have but short a duration…” (Ben Franklin ) It was apparently frivolous and irresponsible to love someone and was not the entire business of marrying someone at all. Back in the day marriage was about what we now call “securing the bag”. People didn’t get married because they loved one another at all, actually if you happen to fall in love it was a shocker. But they married to make sure that money was secured and family legacies were protected for generations to come. People married for stock and stature. Adam, the shows host gave me a word that stuck out. Limerence- intense involuntary infatuated love aka butterflies and giddy feelings for a person youre really attracted to and have deep emotion for.
Statiscally, 18 months to 3 years that feeling last in relationships & it can fade. A Lot of us hope and pray that it doesn’t, but that really deep feeling stops us from realizing that relationships are hard work! Marriage being the most difficult of them all.

I was pleased when I found out that the divorce rate in America has never exceeded 41% in the 60’s and it has decreased since then. This world and the media that runs it makes it seem as if divorce is some sort of curse and that the Lord frowns upon it so stick it out because you promised “Til Death Do Us Part”. The reality of the situation is that some times, for some people divorce is not only good it is necessary. Especially if children are involved. As a child that saw my mother endure a horrible divorce I am a spokesperson for such. Children are very perceptive and we can tell when our parents arent happy, no matter how much they try to “not in front of the kids” their lives. All of this information may be overwhelming, but I’m almost 27 and heavily considering marriage, but I’m also a realist. It took the glamour away from the full time career that is holding together a happy fulfilling monogamous marriage. So there is sunshine after the honeymoon, it just comes with a some rain in between.

And sometimes, I don’t want you to dress it up and make it real for me.

With Love,

Storie Stone

The Storie Will Be Televised

All of this information and further sources can be found at AdamRuinsEverything.com/Weddings

B R I L L I A N T. Successful Project Product. Proud Black Sheep and all around Thoroughbred. 26. Planted in Chicago,IL | Blossomed in Atlanta, GA

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